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it had to be done...

I went to the store and bought a girdle. I am so fat.
I feel like it makes me look four months pregnant because my stomach doesn't have that fimilliar crease. meh, maybe i'm exagerating because when you look down at something close to you..yeah. maybe not. I'm only 4'11 i'm bound to be fat...

LATELY I FEEL....

lost. I feel like i have no friends and i cant talk to anyone. i get made fun of at school...really hardcore and harsh. i just want to dissapear GAH. my mom said that helping me is the end of the world. just to put on my girdle. i asked her why, and she said because she doesn't want to help me get it off.She is always blaming me for something. always mad. today it was because i said i love the dog. jeez why cant i live my life xx. PLEASE GOD WHERE IS THE MERCY? IVE BEEN PRAYING AND PRAYING!! Just an hour with people and no drama. TOMORROW PERHAPS? GOD MAYBE MORE THAN AN HOUR, MAYBE YOU HAVE GIVEN IT TO ME ALREADY! MAYBE I have failed to mention that i wanted it to be a consecutive hour, and not broken down in incriments of 5 minutes.

AHH!! do you realize it has been 3 months? FUCK YOU! I DONT CARE ANYMORE!! you dont want to stay here? YOU DONT HAVE TO!! FUCK YOU!!!!

I love you....

Comments

retro_modernist
Dec. 6th, 2004 11:12 pm (UTC)
your mother should be more supportive of you... That isn't right.
If you ask her for help she should've figured out a way to help you. I need to lose weight too and lately I've been thinking about the south beach diet. Low carb. Just remember that if you want to lose weight, try to do it in a healthy manner because believe me, it will come back if you don't.

It sounds to me like that house isn't healthy for you. you're still in high school? Maybe look into finding a way out because you can't be happy in a negative environment. I KNOW.

I hope things look up for you soon :)

((Hugs))

<3
Angel

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