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it had to be done...

I went to the store and bought a girdle. I am so fat.
I feel like it makes me look four months pregnant because my stomach doesn't have that fimilliar crease. meh, maybe i'm exagerating because when you look down at something close to you..yeah. maybe not. I'm only 4'11 i'm bound to be fat...


lost. I feel like i have no friends and i cant talk to anyone. i get made fun of at school...really hardcore and harsh. i just want to dissapear GAH. my mom said that helping me is the end of the world. just to put on my girdle. i asked her why, and she said because she doesn't want to help me get it off.She is always blaming me for something. always mad. today it was because i said i love the dog. jeez why cant i live my life xx. PLEASE GOD WHERE IS THE MERCY? IVE BEEN PRAYING AND PRAYING!! Just an hour with people and no drama. TOMORROW PERHAPS? GOD MAYBE MORE THAN AN HOUR, MAYBE YOU HAVE GIVEN IT TO ME ALREADY! MAYBE I have failed to mention that i wanted it to be a consecutive hour, and not broken down in incriments of 5 minutes.

AHH!! do you realize it has been 3 months? FUCK YOU! I DONT CARE ANYMORE!! you dont want to stay here? YOU DONT HAVE TO!! FUCK YOU!!!!

I love you....


( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
Dec. 6th, 2004 11:12 pm (UTC)
your mother should be more supportive of you... That isn't right.
If you ask her for help she should've figured out a way to help you. I need to lose weight too and lately I've been thinking about the south beach diet. Low carb. Just remember that if you want to lose weight, try to do it in a healthy manner because believe me, it will come back if you don't.

It sounds to me like that house isn't healthy for you. you're still in high school? Maybe look into finding a way out because you can't be happy in a negative environment. I KNOW.

I hope things look up for you soon :)


Dec. 6th, 2004 11:14 pm (UTC)
thats crazy that she would get mad at you for saying you loved the dog. what the fuck? maybe she jealous...lol.

school is harsh. seems like its something for everyone. luckily, its over quick enough.


Dec. 7th, 2004 05:29 am (UTC)
harsh things. downright nasty. wish i could help.

Dec. 7th, 2004 03:45 pm (UTC)
Yeah I can agree that maybe ya moms jealous,or maybe shes naturally a mean person..I mean,you CAN love ya own damn dog,goodness..Its not like you said you were gonna blow up the f'in whitehouse..And at school,people are gonna be asses,its just their shitty character,let it go right past you,cuz carma IS a bitch nah mean..Stay up Sarah,dont change for NO ONE.Uno.
Indra E.
Dec. 8th, 2004 04:02 pm (UTC)
So you and I need to chill sometime. Yes?
Dec. 9th, 2004 06:46 pm (UTC)
i feel where ur comming from. im really short too. bound to be fat right here.
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )


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