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Message: I realized that you signed my guest book, a long time ago. I never learned how to look at them, till now. I always thought it was amazing that you thought i was smart, when you are 10 times smarter, I think you know that now, you should listen to yourself. I am sorry I hurt you. Does you not liking me have anything to do with what london said about me? I didn't ever think you'd listen to him because I told you everything about brandon and whatever else he said. I am so happy that you met someone new. I can't stop thinking about you, not that I'm weird or anything but, you are so unique, and I will never find someone to be in my life the way you were. I thought I found something great, and I really don't understand why, how, it ended so soon. I understand that I told london I liked you, and that upset you, and how I said I wanted to kill myself, and for that I'm sorry. It was how i felt. Yeah, I told london to hurt him, I had no intention of telling him at all, and I think it's funny how you think I used you just to get back at him--someone so small in my life, compared to you, someone who, I hope you know now, was obviously not small in my life at all. I could go on forever... I am sorry again, for this signature in your profile. I am trying to get over this graciously, and I guess i shouldn't have said I love you even though love comes at different times for different people, and some people look at my sensitivity for caring and closeness to people as, too soon. You said it too. you remember that ok? because it ment a lot to me. I hoped we could have at least met in person, and have a wonderful beautiful life Indra E... I am sorry I am "a lil too much" for u. I don't go to your xanga anymore, I just got on a different screename to avoid someone, and saw you on, so I decided to look at your profile to keep myself from messaging you. I won't call you anymore, but keep me on block anyways please, I think the man's voice is funny, usually it's a woman's. Oh yeah...one more thing... *Peace*4 real...


( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
Jul. 26th, 2004 03:03 pm (UTC)
aw, sarah, thats nice. and im really sorry about indra, but sometimes thats just the way it is. and i know we both know what from experiece. the thing is that youre searching. youre searching for things in everyone else that you want to have. you want to feel loved and you want to be held to feel complete and satisfied. you want to feel special, and fragile, like you matter. but the thing is, you will never find this in someoe else. you will never find it the way you want to, the way you should. not until you find it within yourself. and i know that sounds stupid. it soudns so dumb, but its true. what you search for (no matter what level it is) is always within yourself. people spend their lives running and searching and trying to find that one key piece, those ten, fifty, one million fucking pieces, things that they will only find within themselves. because in your reality, you can never be sure of anything real but yourself. we look for in other people, in other things, what we want what we think we need. we should look to ourselves to make us feel special, feel loved, feel complete. you are special, you are loved, you are complete, but only if you say so.
may closure come to you
and may you find something
sorry for the typos and the preaching
Jul. 27th, 2004 08:39 am (UTC)
yeah listen to that person ^
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )


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