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I feel so fragile. That is abig reason i cut. To remind myself to handle with care. I cant let people squeeze my arms. I cant let people touch me because im fragile. I wrote a letter, and Brandon said it was corny. He was just telling the truth, but it made me cry. Because i'm fragile.

Bath (not a poem, new subject)

I wish he would give me a bath.. massage my feet and hands with the soft washcloth i got, shaped like a flower. rub my back and legs...wash my hair with baby shampoo and iet it trail down my body making me smell good. Kiss my lower back and forehead, and have an intimate conversation. Remind me that he loves me, and no matter what i think, i am beautiful in his eyes. I wish he would tell me how much God loves me. It has a special effect when it comes from other's mouths. Pray with me "two shall agree, it shall be done" Hold hands in unity. and kiss my cheek and temples.

and after the bath, he will wrap a towel around me like my grandpa used to, and make sure i'm dry, rub it across my back and kiss me again. He could pick out my pajamas and wrap me up in a blanket like my grandma used to do, and then hold me and talk to me while i go to sleep in his arms. I feel so alone, i miss being handled with care.

I wish i had someone to talk to, to be alone and intimate with He doesnt seem to have time to be alone with me. I wish I could be a priority in life. I wish i could get everything together and be who i want to be. All i can do now is wish, and accept the things i have, realize that it is me, and no matter what i have, i will always still have wishes and dreams.

I dream of getting married to him. He comes to my front door and gives me a hug, and a warm "hello!", and suddenly kneels down out of nowhere as i give him an inquisitive look. He says "marry me" and i start to cry and tell him, this is the happiest moment of my life. OF course i will marry you, you are my everything and i think you know that.

Story about moths

Moths used to be more colorful and radiant than butterflies. With painted rainbows on them and sparkely colors. Moths were sweet and caring. When it rained for 40 days and 40 nights, they saw that the angels were distressed, along with the people. So they asked the butterflies to help them make a rainbow. They knew that with the butterflies help, they would both be able to keep some color. but the butterflies refused, so all the moths flew up and batted their wings until a beautiful rainbow appeared. The only colors that werent used were gray and brown, now that is the only colors they have. And every spring and summer, the babies fly up in the sky and bat the colors off their wings to show tradition, and so that all people will be able to see a colorful rainbow.

it makes me cry because so many people hate and kill moths
and it seems like the story is true, because in the spring and summer, is when moths come, and we dont get rainbows until the spring and summer. it makes me sad because so many people say that moths are dirty. it also seems true because when you touch a moth, their color comes off. it makes me cry because i used to be so cruel to them. i used to tear their wings off and make them walk around and i would watch them die

i wish i never done that, and i wish there was some way for me to apologize to God's creatures.They are of no use to us, we should not kill them. We kill animals to nourish us, and so they dont overpopulate the world. Remember when we had too many moths? Notice how we also had rainbows every day? even when it wasnt raining. they dont try to bother us. According to the story, they love and protect us. we dont need them for food, so there is no reason for us to bother them. This summer, i hope you wont kill moths. Remember this story.


Jun. 9th, 2004 04:22 pm (UTC)
Sorry its taken me so long...

Ive heard that story before. I love it too. I always get so mad when people hurt moths or any other living creature for that matter. If you have no real reason to, why kill a living creature? Why torture it? Its terrible. Im glad you stopped, otherwise I might have to yell at you.

As for the fragile thing, I think everyone feels this way. Sometimes it just comes out more. I think that everyone misses being handled with care because it makes you feel like youre loved, like you mean something important and people care about you. I dont think its really all that corny, maybe a little but just because things that are that blatantly emotional tend to be corny. Its not always a bad thing to be corny. Everyone feels fragile wether they hide it or not. Everyone feels fragile, because everyone is.



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