Wow so I was thinking about why it's so difficult for me to sing in front of anyone::
It's as if every word that anyone ever said about my voice/singing, is physically floating in the space around us, occupying the breathing room.
When it's me, it's just my own thoughts, which are so extreme on both sides of the spectrum that they neutralize and the air is free for me finally.
Outside dynamic is weirdly different enough to aid this perspective 🙄 that probably seems gibberesquely nonsensical ....
On my way home from somewhere about as far away as you were, I normally don't go directly home, i drive the opposite direction. I convince myself it was a mistake, and i was actually trying to find my way....
tonight I did that a tiny bit, but only for like 2 blocks before my autopilot corrected me. But that drive is so important and its the best time to freestyle, and it's still something I can't quite initiate from home with no known destination. It has to start from a destination.... there this weird pinching tightness that grows inside me without that little random adventure