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Melodic Silence

In the past I was very familiar with the concept of having to break open the center of my pain in order to discover beauty and creativity. It has been more difficult for me to do this now, because it isn’t always the case. I’ve found that certain types of frustration yield further and deeper frustration to delve into. I’m not sure what type of thing this is…
The other day, my mom felt good again for the first time in years.;that her mind was clear. She was so excited to ponder on all these different random things. We both felt a delayed reaction of sadness for how far gone she had been for so long. We both missed her so much. I was forcing my mind and heart to get used to the idea of her being gone, and to not expect her to come back. Perhaps for my preservation reflex; I felt like pushing her away. I resisted doing so, but told her about it when she asked how I was feeling. Later that night, she said she felt herself fading away again. She realized this was a dissociation from the pain in her body. I don’t know how many moments of clarity she will get. I didn’t realize it would be so brief. I hope she can stay for longer. I pray that these moments become the rule rather than the exception.
He said, "Anyone can do anything", and I let him go on believing that; Because, I felt that his boundless sense of hope would behoove him more than the truth.
As far as for me; I feel better about seeing myself with certain limitations; Otherwise, I would be disappointing myself with each passing moment that I have not yet accomplished more.

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