I am acting like a complete different person; but, I'm being true to myself. I understand each side of this issue, so intimately that neither of them make sense. Certain life experience is strongly discouraged. In this world though, I feel like the only one who has been heeding this expectation. I decided to try and manifest love, instead of searching outside for it.  Is that so bad? We'll see.


I feel like God is giving me a lesson in parenthood here with my dog. He sits up next to me when I insist on staying up late.-and, waking into the next day. I need to put him to bed, but he cries and I cave. I love to have him beside me as much as he loves to be. He gets so exhausted though. I don't want this to ultimately diminish his lifespan. I'd deeply appreciate having him around for as long as possible. Concerning myself; Hell yeah I want it to diminish my lifespan. I don't want to freaking live until I'm 107. I'm hoping that burning this candle at both ends will take at least 20 years off of that. I would donate it if I could.


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