Log in

No account? Create an account

Previous Entry | Next Entry

where are you, world??

My heart is here. Sometimes I get this hopelessness though; It feels like I'm puking up a rainbow. Like my body could no longer contain it within. I get these chunks of life when nobody will respond to my calls or messages. Seriously, not exaggerating. It happens entirely too often, and too large scale, to be any social orchestration. It can't just be a coincidence. I'm not doing things to cause this perception- like say, only trying to contact people at 3AM.(That would be all my absurd fault lmfao). I the only behavior of mine which could potentially correlate and even be causing this, is the being aware part. I'm known to ignore a barrage of incomming bop zips, or send a barrage of outgoing zop bips.. I have, for the past two weeks; Practiced moderation with a rigidity that does not correspond with that concept. Just to say that I know it's not just because I run hot and cold
It is because I run hot and cold. Sometimes I don't charge my phone for days. I lose it under my bed, and good riddance. Because I don't make it a constant priority to respond promptly to messages or calls, I can completely see why others don't make it a priority to respond promptly to me. I don't find that offensive at all. It just freaks me out a little bit when it happens on a large scale, like 10 days at a time where absolutely no one calls or messages, and I wonder if the phone service has lapsed because I may have forgotten to pay the bill? I can test call, or I can use that concept to hide out, and let it be the reason.


Blue Jam Tunes
Kismet Witstatic

Latest Month

May 2019