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why i love me // why I struggle

::, is me.

::The thing is... When i look at your face, it's familial and platonic.- But your touch is electrifying. It makes my body tremble. There is a distinct spark in your eyes, to which i'm drawn. I anticipate that the relation will transform if i allow..?

Appaulo : Is that good or bad

::It is whatever you think. Its just exactly how i feel
::I'm not a black and white type of person, so you can't expect my facts fall on one side or the other. Gray area

Appaulo: Gray?

::gray a·re·a
an ill-defined situation or field not readily conforming to a category or to an existing set of rules.
-a concept that is unclear.
"gray areas in the legislation have still to be clarified"
synonyms: ambiguous, unclear, uncertain, doubtful, indefinite, indistinct, indeterminate, debatable, open to question
"their policy regarding unmarried couples is a gray area"
antonyms: black and white, certain.

::Is humanity good or bad?
Are you good or bad?
::I'd like to declare myself as good overall, but if i actually measured, i would be forced to say i'm bad.
Its a valid question, but 99% of the time, in regards to myself as a concept, it stands unanswerable.
::Which is good i think. Thats that 1%.
Its good that i stay open and undefined because then i can be completely dedicated to monumental sincerety

Appaulo: I dunno

::You don't know what?
Its unfair of you to pose such a question if you actually expect me to identify with one side or the other. I'm a mosaic of both.
Salt and pepper. Bad and good.
Hot and cold
::Bloody bloody rainbow
::-my questions were only examples of my point, intended as rhetorical; and/or an opening to challenge my statement by being answerable to you.


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