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Efflux too

By showing you those pictures of my unfinished artwork; I made myself vulnerable. I kind of knew that, but I thought it would be okay. The thing is, when I make myself feel that exposed, I get antsy for validation: i.e, a response. The timing was awful. I did know you're always busy, and having family trouble. Also, I was the black sheep in the hot seat in my family that week, making me crave validation, and assume blame, from any source, all the more.
I do have a little crush on you, but I don't feel led on by you, I'm just letting myself enjoy liking you, as friends, for cardio😘 ; I am a little bit broken, and letting myself feel, just to feel would be good for me- to get to know myself in these ways.
I giggled on your answering machine. That was childish of me, but I didn't think in an upsetting way. I sent a lot of separate messages. Is that what bothered you? I still don't quite see what was so wrong of me,- maybe even the thought of asking if you were ignoring me? I did ask, rather than jumping to conclusions.- Now that I know this about you, I won't take your actions personally. I really don't want to upset you again, so I'd appreciate if you would eventually clarify that. I do think this conversation might be best left for face to face. I am oversensitive when being scolded =/


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May 2019