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Mr Crostaire

I used to consider you one of my very best friends. It has become obvious that you don't see me the same way in your life. It's a shame. You have always provided me with strength, inspiration, and guidance: One person I could openly call a mentor. Not that you're perfect; Though, if you were, I don't see myself ever drawing the comparison. You found a way to turn your passion into a paycheck. I admire that, and many aspects of your character, still.

You deserve happiness and fulfillment. You met someone special, which; to me, is wonderful news! The sour note in that symphony; this has caused you to decide to cut me out, cold. Which showed me that I'm obviously not a friend of yours. I don't know what you expected from me, if you had been straight with me. You could have told me. I wish you did. I would not have been envious, or held contempt. As much as I always enjoy flirting with you; I am aware that you and I, are not an ideal match. You were a safe place for me to explore my sexual identity, without fear of you.
The song I'm listening to- Fatboy Slim, reminds me of your devastation with Michelle's death. I feel guilty about being such a drama queen last September. I apologized a million times, but I don't know if you've ever fully forgiven me. I sort of feel that it added to your ultimate decision to eviscerate me from your world. I really am sorry though.

It upset me, that you didn't consider how it would make me feel, for you to just vanish. You were told how meaningful you were to me. That fact must not have penetrated you. If you considered me at all, you must have decided I was strong enough to take losing you,(I am). I miss you though. I wonder, if you introduced me to your new love, as a friend, emphasizing my age, it might alleviate any possible jealousy she would harbor toward our friendship. Also, I would stop flirting, obviously. I respect you, you know? I just can't get over the fact that this all has shown my lack of importance to you, which is something I'm not sure if I can recover from.


Blue Jam Tunes
Kismet Witstatic

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May 2019