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Hey Fucker

I remember what you said to me when I told you how I loved to wear mens ties. You got so adorably angry with me; You scolded me about how women have so many special items, and are the center of all trends and fashions but men don't seem to have many different clothing choices. I can't deny that to be true, and because I found your outburst to be so cute, I've tried to follow your rule. I do have so0o0oO0o0o many accessories and options as a woman, I have many different things which are silky-like, ribbon like a mens tie. Men don't own the Nicky knot; Sometimes I'll decide to tie a Kelvin or Pratt. What WHAT, I wonder, would you say about THAT!? lol. I am quite pleased with using my silk belts or scarves around my neck instead of mens ties ~_^

I heard through the grapevine that you're reunited with Jqt. I sorta understood after being through the ringer with you, that she probably was not as evil or deserving of hatred as you portrayed her to be. You like to be creative with your Picasso-perception of reality. I don't claim to see life through a camera lens, but I could surmise a smoky, sped up, slowed down skipping rewound video stacked and layered with special image effects- left with some crazy blue adorable picture that might look something like this: ((mostly It's just that one blue lightbulb in the front room!!))

F0B14B63-84EC-4E88-B26C-5AB7E969A95D-392-000000228A89FB9E photo F0B14B63-84EC-4E88-B26C-5AB7E969A95D-392-000000228A89FB9E.jpg

I drove down your street yesterday, and you were standing outside. I saw the back of your head. I have been missing you, and then stupid google and youtube teamed up to confuse me into creating a google+ account when I was actually trying to upload a video to somewhere I could share it from. The first thing it showed me was your stupid handsome face. It super bothers me, the fact that you hate me for illegitimate ideas that you appeared to have known were bogus, otherwise you would have given me the opportunity to tell you my side of it instead of just throwing it right at me and absconding from the scene quicker than into a snap-conjurable black hole portal. That either indicates that this argument had nothing to do with me in the first or last place, OR, you were thoroughly aware of your argument's overwhelming deconstructability.

I keep thinking about putting one of Papa's funeral booklets in your mailbox, but I don't want to. Your puppy's death was tragedy enough to re-inflate a previous flattened bubble-ship of ours.
I know Papa's AND Imprints deaths are tragedy enough too. But also, I don't know...did you worry about me at all through the theatere shooting insanity in july? Maybe so...we are neighbors. Easy enough to chek up on each other without making it known to one and other.... oohhh.
Ahh. I miss you so much, BUT, I *swear* i will NEVER BE THE ONE TO REACH OUT. RARGh. Unless I have 3 kidneys. My Nana really believes I do, or is doing a lot to try and convince me not to fear a doctor appointment. I just... If I had 3 kidneys, I would give one to your mom. I love your mom, you know.

I just, I don't know why I even care about this miniscule detail...but I do hope that Jqt realizes the same things I realized about her... namely that It is drastically probable that I am not legitimately at fault for what negativity toward me; Which you're ever inclined to sustain. You conjured it up on your own; desparately muddling your capability of seeing the bareness of 'truth', prior to you're choosing to cover it up with creative renditions of something too far fetched, even to be regarded as, 'a version' of reality.


Blue Jam Tunes
Kismet Witstatic

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May 2019