Sure okay, I have to be honest with the fact that I use you to avoid my pain. You make my heart flutter, and I just love it. I have to stop doing that though, because I'm cheating on myself. It would be different if things were different; Ugh but they are like this, and this is what I have to work with.

I have this red-hot steel horse shoe in my stomach, and you're not here to help me cool it, and you're not here to show me how to, and you're not here at all. I just put you in my mind to distract it from what is here. That's not okay for me to do. It's not even really working; It's hurting.
The pain confuses me so much; Whereas, if I would observe what is actually happening before my eyes, I would know exactly what it consists of, and I wouldn't feel so disengaged from day to day.
I'm acting foolish by trying to do this. I recognize it now. I'm here to be aware, and then I shall see how I fare.