His face told me what his lips could never admit. He is ready to go. He needs to be free; I need him to be. I can't keep them inside my eyes anymore. As my ocular ponds emote, they vigorously overflow. I don't even know how to stifle it. Wish I could pause it though. I need to put on an 'okay' face. It's time now, for me to be the guardian.
The only thing I can possibly think of, to console myself; Is how he spent 60 years on earth before I came, familiarizing himself with every detail, and subsequently instilling it upon me as he raised me. It seems only right, since this is how I came to know my home on Earth; He will spend 60 years in heaven before I meet him there. He'll be able to make it home for me, when that time comes. I'll be 84; which is his current age.
It doesn't really help me feel *better*, but it does. It's strange. It's not strange I guess; Learning to accept invariable circumstances.
I don't want anything for Christmas. Just, God? Please let me keep Papa as long as possible, without him being so tortured by this life. He is the greatest gift I could ever hope for.