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real talk

one of the major reasons I am stagnant lately is my grandpa. He has emphysema, and we've been told that it's likely he could die soon. I don't want to miss out on my moments with him. At the same time, my depression over this has led to me not wanting to do anything at all, and as a result of that, I have pretty much been completely isolating myself from everyone.
This is probably why my family has been so understanding of my standstill; Because of my papa. I however, am not as understanding, and my inner dialogue has subsequently been eating me alive. So hateful; I am tearing myself down, and I don't know how to stop. I have filled myself with so much negativity, I don't feel capable of success anymore. I have no idea what my real dreams are.


( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
Nov. 2nd, 2012 01:49 am (UTC)
I so get that feeling.. I went through the same thing when I knew my cousin was going to die; and currently that is what I'm going through because my Grandfather might die soon too.
Nov. 3rd, 2012 05:32 am (UTC)
This explains it now. Well it sounds like u need a little encouragement. I have none. However I can tell you how to make it less painful. And that is to start letting go now. It is natural for death to come to those closest to us and eventually ourselves. One thing is always certain with life and that is death. Live ur life the way u should and enjoy it while u still possess it. I know this doesnt help, in fact it's probably a little cold, but it was how I overcame my loss.
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )


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