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My Thoughts: Fabulistic

Date: October 6, 2010 2:11:32 PM MDT



It's very silly of you to be asking a ouija board about the future, when your destiny is truly in your own hands. I was thinking of any questions I had- in response to your email about you paying someone. My question is, Are you going to finish your song? But I think it's silly to ask the ouija board or someone else, so I'm going to ask you. Are you going to finish your song? Right now, your destiny is in your own hands. The future is never set in stone. You may let the opportunity of a lifetime slip through your fingers- which I don't want. I use my crystal ball, my oracle book, a pendulum, and my tarot cards very seldom. If you want- I can start reading yours so that you don't pollute the answers with what you already think is going to happen; Already planning your reactions. 
I was able to put the puzzle together after this all exploded. You caused everything the board said to come true with your little freak out episode, which affirms my opinion of the ouija board. This is the second time you did this. The first time was when you asked the board about our friendship, and it said I would hurt you really bad if you didn't leave me. I did end up hurting you- but was it really worth abandoning our friendship over?
 Fabulistic, we are both going to hurt each other countless times throughout life if we stay friends. It's called being imperfect/human. But if we really love each other, we will both understand that neither of us ever have corrupted intentions. One of us usually hurts the other disagreeing over a belief/thought/philosophy that we both strongly feel one way about, and must fight for to get the other to understand/agree. We also hurt each other on a more accidental level by using careless/incorrect words to describe the other(s) actions/clothes/hair/body.
Le Vodkatini-Vixen
 she was upset with you the second time you came to crash here (that time you cleaned Heather's place). She has had a childhood full of abuse and family drug addicts, so she began to distance herself from you to avoid getting hurt by you in your addiction. (It's really starting to be a problem now, Fabulistic ....) But she didn't dislike you. She was very disappointed, and she stopped considering you for a friendship because she doesn't want to be that close in relationship to anyone who is lost in drugs. 
She obviously doesn't like you anymore now- in part because you chose to do drugs again, and in part because you keep texting her-even now. It's turning into harassment. You are allowed to have any opinion you want of my girlfriend- but please keep it to yourself.
She doesn't judge you for sucking dick, she probably made a face because sucking dick wouldn't be her first choice. She once said (not in  regards to you...on a separate note) that she made friends with all the people who she was sexually active with-which helped her be aware of their sexual health, and I personally think that's something you may want to do- get to know the person well enough to know for certain they don't have any STD's! Condoms don't prevent herpes. Herpes breaks out on the skin around the penis also-which a condom doesn't cover. And even if a person who has herpes doesn't have any bumps- you can still get it by rubbing there. 

The Incident
When you were sitting on the bed, and I was sitting on the bench by my vanity dresser....I was talking to you about the time that you went through Girlfriend's phone. How it was your fault that I got in trouble with her for those pictures I had, because you were the one who went through her phone. I brought it up- I can't remember why. My point was that I had to take all the blame for you going through her phone, and I was playfully mad at you. I also told you that she went through my phone around that time because of you/me going through hers.
That is when you linked 5 email accounts to your phone, and told me that it was for Le Vodkatini-Vixen to see. I kept saying that I didn't think she would be interested in going through your phone- The conflict was over for a long time now, and I was really just reminiscing about the whole situation. Then you mentioned my graduation pictures, and how I wanted them. I do want them, so I stopped objecting to you linking your accounts together and letting me see them-because I wanted to see/get the pictures. I knew you were rambling a lot, and talking a lot of shit. I feel bad for not investigating it more thoroughly before Le Vodkatini-Vixen arrived- but you were rambling a lot, and you were convinced that everything you were saying was a fact..So I felt that even if I did investigate and try to fix what was going on in your head, my words would be meaningless to you in that state of mind. 

My thoughts continued
This time, the difference between her and I, is that she read every single one of your messages. I didn't. I read a few, just so I would know what you were mad about, then I stopped. I let them all pile up in my inbox, and I deleted them after I blocked you. I only read mean messages if I feel I deserve them. I advised her to do the same, but she's stubborn, and she wouldn't. There are some things I read that hurt my feelings...but nothing hurt more than the situation itself. I was/am afraid that you are getting sucked in. Remember that dream I had?

I digress...

1) No visits (unless emergency)
2) No calls (unless emergency)
3) If we happen to see each other, why not wave? it's up to however we feel at the time.
4) If you need anything, shoot me an email. I'll do the same, but NO fighting over email,EVERR. (a long letter explaining the way you feel is totally cool, but please make sure your ears aren't steaming when you do it, and you are focusing on your own feelings, expressing yourself in a non offensive, non blameful way. Not pinning any negative emotions or actions on the other person (except for, of course, what I did, or what you did...like you can say "It hurt me that you broke my laptop", it's a negative action pinned on me, but I pinned it on myself..)
5) No offensive curse words in emails. (well, an example of an OK curse word instance is "damn, I'm fucking exhausted!", an example of a curse word instance that we both have to avoid is, "you fucking bitch")

You are the only friend in the entire world that understands me in the way that you do, but you're completely wrong about Le Vodkatini-Vixen, and you're overdoing it...I love you, and I will always love you no matter what happens between us. But please...Please leave her alone.


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