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to the bully

((I actually sent this to my childhood bully))

I saw that movie "Anger Management" with Adam Sandler the other day. Good movie! Jack Nicholson is really great at becoming his characters.

Anyhow, you know that scene where Jack forces Adam to confront the monk? It made me realize that I need to confront you. As the monk in the story did; I hope you transcended your negativity. I hope God was able to intercept your soul from the unfortunate road it was headed down, in time for you to develop into a decent person.

I always wondered what you were so angry about. Why you felt like it was so important to knock me down so hard while I was already on the ground..Then I realized that I was a target for people like you because I stayed down. By staying down, I was giving you the impression that it was where I belonged. That was wrong of me, and I apologize to myself for it. At that impressionable age; consumed by puberty, while trying to develop identity- it's hard for someone not to succumb to their peers' portrayal of who they are, rather than their true self.

So, while I was blind as you- feeling stuck on the metaphorical ground, not only did I have the legs to stand, to bring myself up and out of that unfavorable position- I had wings to fly. To ascend to a superior cognition- of which you & the ones like you make it their goal to keep me from. In your repugnant mental condition- there's no possible way for you to gain a comparable acquisition. So you; filled with selfishness and scandal, couldn't possibly allow me an experience of which you can't seem to handle. My downfall was giving you the authority to withhold that from me for so long.

It was hard to come to those terms. To look at life the way it truly is. You felt stuck on the ground too- That is why you kept me there, so that you wouldn't be alone. You just couldn't stand the thought of feeling low all by yourself. You thought that by shedding light on my flaws and insecurities, yours would remain hidden. You thought that by cornering, and hitting me, you were exerting power? Embodying strength?

The joke is on you. Instead of strength, your actions manifested weakness. Rather than educating yourself about the value of life, you decided to roll around in filth. You decided to show me, and everyone else who had the eyes to see, that you were not someone who was worthy of respect. You did not grow as a person, or learn how to appreciate life- You made ugliness your focus, and so it became the center of your existence.

When someone finally finds themselves successful -accomplishing their goals. They take the time to thank the people who hurt them. Who tried to hold them back from being abundant to the degree of their entire capability. They say that without the very adversity in which these hateful people introduced to their lives, with the intention of obstructing their success, they would not be as mindful of the beauty & wonder throughout their existence. It is inner angst that invariably inspires an artist to aspire toward their expression of perfection- So, in addition to my forgiveness, I give you my gratitude for such wisdom.

Like the resistance given to a track star by the parachute that trails behind him, attempting to pull him back as he prevails- to be outstanding. Or the hurdles that he clears- eventually without struggle. As the weight of the barbells used by body builders who wish to increase their endurance; you impended upon my success- using the weight of your hatred, the hurdle of your scrutiny, and the resistance of your negativity. Yet instead of keeping me down, with you, on the ground. You made me stronger. You increased my endurance. Then with these wings, I escalate. The constraint you present deteriorates- causing me to elevate. My acquired assets adulate as I demonstrate what a masterpiece I've become. It's just my fate to be great. So thanks! I appreciate the extra weight.


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Kismet Witstatic

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