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meo mio

o me o mi o me......

I'm sorry i havent been up on everything.
A huge fucking bomb has just fallen on my life. If you don't want to know about it, get out of my fucking journal, because yeah, i'm gonna complain, i don't care if i complain alot because this is my place. if you don't want to see it...i'll take u off my list b/c im not in the mood for comments like "u feel depressed too much" or whatnot, like i can help it or some shit.

My baby is back in jail :o( I cant do anything i feel like the air has been sucked right out of me. i just want to scream but i am rendered helpless. There's no one i can really talk to about it...no...not even you. I am hurting so much i want to kill myself.. i just cant break though, its all for him now, I'm his strength, i'm the one he can call and he tells me "a phone call means everything to me" he makes me feel like im actually helping him when in reality i'm doing nothing but accepting his collect calls... I am so glad that he isnt like he was last time or else id be dead. I'd probably be less tolerant of him, thus he'd tell me he was gonna kill himself no matter what i said...i'd hang up on him and kill myself. what comes of that aside from two dead kids?

He says it means a lot that i just accept his calls... that means a lot to me, its affirmation. I need that in my life.

Amanda called me obsessive. that hurts..i fall in love with someone and she calls it "obsessive" oh my god i cant believe someone thinks that about me... it wouldnt hurt my feelings normally but she told me im obsessive after telling her a deep secret about whats been happening lately (abt brandon being gone and all) but...o my GOD I HATE BEING CALLED THAT!! ITS SO ... so...it makes me feel like she discredits my feelings talkin about "your obsessed...i'm in love" FCK U!!

Comments

( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
so_grood
Sep. 18th, 2004 10:03 pm (UTC)
number one: dont listen to amanda.
number two: i love you! dont kill yourself. i would be so upset if you did. you couldnt even imagine. And im sure other people would care. Dont say they wouldnt. because they would. I would.
wingedmessenger
Sep. 19th, 2004 04:30 am (UTC)
I'm not sure what to say so offering big ****hugs****
saragoescrazy
Sep. 19th, 2004 07:49 am (UTC)
Definately don't listen to Amanda she has no right to say that about you. And is just being very rude about it. People care about you so don't hurt yourself. Hell, I care about you too - if I didn't I wouldn't comment or read your journal at all for that matter. But I do... I really hope things get better for you and everything. Take care hun *huggles*
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )

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