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the family i've always wanted

today i was with brandon(20) Sean(19) and chris (17) It started out with just brandon and i, we spent the night together and stuff.

I remember when i was little...I would sit on the couch with a bunch of pillows and talk to them, and put my head up on them and pretend i had my head in my big brother's lap. I always wanted a big brother and a twin. Kirsten has always been my twin but i guess she isn't a part of this reality anymore. Chris is always there for me, like my cheerleader behind the scenes, He works with Jesus to protect me and care for me. Sometimes I pray for a miracle and he shows up, I would have committed suicide already if it wasn't for him. When I do something bad, him and God are the ones I tell and almost 'confess' to, or else i get a guilty feeling in my stomach, worse than him being mad at me for a few minutes...

Yesterday I went to meet some 55 year old guy from online. He was gonna discipline me, but I was talking to God walking on my way, and I was thinking of how I had to hide from Chris everything I was doing. If it was such a good thing for me to do, why couldn't I tell my best friend? I couldn't probably tell Brandon either. we have a special family like relationship, it's amazing and I hope I never have to give it up.

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Eyedea
wrecktangle
Kismet Witstatic
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