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its time...

it's time for me to play the what if game!

I got my phone turned off because brandon went over my minutes


-what if he gets stranded and thinks the phone works, and ends up dying because he has no way to contact anyone?
-what if he is in the neighborhood and he tries to call me and he can't so i miss a chance to see him?
-what if he breaks my sim card in half and throws it at me?
-what if i lose him as a friend because he thinks its shitty i got my phone turned off because he went over my minutes?
-what if he was going to give me that nifty cell phone but now he's not cause he's mad that i got the phone turned off??

WHY DOES MY MIND WORK LIKE THIS?

I care so much about him and what he thinks when he obviously doesn't give a damn about what I think. well here's what I say to him



you get mad at me because...

I'm not a giving person? I give you everything, I love you so much, I care enough about what you think to change myself to fit your liking. I've changed so much that now you call me a loser I ask you not to, but it doesn't matter to you because you obviously don't give a damn about me, do you? be honest with me, do you still want to be my friend? You say you give so much, yet you hurt me every day. I tell you my worst fears, and you haunt me, I tell you my deepest secrets, and you pretend everyone else already knows. you get inside my mind and dig deep into my heart, and you broke it Now what am i supposed to do? I LOVE YOU it's too late to turn back. You saved my life, you were my companion, but you make me feel worthless like I can't do shit, you make me feel terrible like I suck at life, you make me want to die sometimes because of how apparent it is that i'm a talentless, brainless, Child what for? why do you insist on hurting me like this time and time again? why don't i just leave you? the answer is simple it's BECAUSE I LOVE YOU no matter how much you hurt me, I will keep comming back,
all because I love you.

Comments

( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
myaircastle
Aug. 18th, 2004 02:56 pm (UTC)
i love that game!

tra la la...wandering through Sarah journal..tra la la laa laa...

and you are stuck
mwah!
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )

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