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COOL

I feel really cool now that i know how to edit shit on my journal with html behind their backs...Haha...I'm such a geek.

Here's what's been goin on:

I am going on a family renunion to south dakota-mt rushmore the day after tomorrow. I DON'T WANNA GO AT ALL..OMG...AHH..
Brandon was invited but he was able to turn it down (unlike me), my family treats me like a fucking piece of shit, and I almost hate them. I'm different, ok? So...I love brandon so much, and he's going through a really really bad breakup and I wish it didn't matter as much as it does to him, because if he were with me, I would treat him like my treasure. I would never break his heart or anything. He's my baby. even now, i make sure he's always fed and clothed and smiling...even though he's 20 and i'm 16, he is MY baby boy. I know you have to understand that... I LOVE HIM! and it hurts me every time he hurts. it seems like there's no reason because I could take such better care of him. I could make sure he never cries again. When I first met him, I was in paradise. This poem is sorta to him, but never in my wildest dreams would I truly want him to 'stay away'

STAY AWAY
_____________

you were so amazing that I wrote in my vacation notebook cause every day with you was paradise.

you've ripped my body limb from limb and fed me to the tigers

you've filled your acid veins with the essance of my heart

stay away
don't hurt me again

my body is shaking
stitched together from limb to limb

I am not who you want me to be
so please let me go...set me free

just stay away
i can't have you here

stay away
i am too fragile for this pain

you're good at everything
i am useless
what do you want with me?
stay away...


FRAGILE GIRL/WHAT WOULD YOU DO
_________________________________
FG: what will I do when he falls in love with a mask?
WW: Fragile girl..so naieve, you care more about what a stranger thinks than making yourself happy.
FG: What if that stranger is my future love?
WW: That stranger has the power to knife your heart with his eyes. He has the power to ruin your life with his mind...HE has the power to desecrate your soul just by walking by
FG: He has the power to make my life
WW: Or break your life
FG: Make me smile
WW: Or make you cry
FG: Light up my life with the twinkle in his eye
WW: That he could also forever deny. What if he shuts his eye? what if he surrounds you with darnkess?
FG: Then darkness is where I shall bask.
WW: Fragile girl..what will you do when he sees that its you?
you're no dancer
nothing special
you expect him to love you for you?
MY HERO'S NAME IS RES. SHE'S A BEAUTIFUL ARABIC AND BLACK SINGER. HER WORDS INSPIRE ME BEYOND BELIEF. LISTEN TO HER SING SOMETIME...



Comments

( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
(Anonymous)
Jul. 8th, 2004 09:06 pm (UTC)
hello my beautiful fearie of sadness
I like it. Expecially the Res thing. I think its perdy. Really. And it is you and Brandon. Which is odd...sometimes I think its beautiful how you feel about him but other times its the most depressing thing. So there you are, beautiful and sad.
luvs
jackie
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )

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