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Terrorble

Heavy Load: Need to let you know for future reference, because talking about emotions and reactions at the same time as I iterate the facts, is pretty impossible.

I had to take my mom to an appointment at university hospital that was at 7:15 in the morning, and I had been up for 24 the night before, so there was sheerly that; but the doctor kept talking about a drug that I already knew about & already decided I didn’t like- but she informed us of a detail we’ve never before been come across:
We’ve already been told that her cancer is considered incurable, because this recurrence happen without her having any of the original body parts the cancer came from. That itself was hard- incurable.
We’ve already been told that her next remission would almost definitely be shorter than her first; Putting it somewhere between 9-10 months, not including time on chemo
Today, they said that if she has a 3rd recurrence, (or maybe it was 3rd remission?), well- the next time, or the time after the next time, it is very unlikely that she will be able to have another remission. That was the new detail.
So she becomes a math problem…? Not exactly clear on what would make remission intangible with early detection procedure.
we had a second appointment at Kaiser. That was okay, but they print out her medical history every single time we have an appointment, and we obsessively read the paper every time we get it. This time, there was something different on there
Ovarian Cancer Metastasis: Lymph Nodes, Mesentery.
Mesentery.....😰 A daunting wave of understanding more about the former detail. Earlier this week, she happen to inform me that if the cancer causes a bowel obstruction, she does not want an ostomy. She wants to die because...well I dont exactly know. because of a friend’s situation, I guess.
but the mesentery is one area that the surgeon taught us us about before the initial surgery; specifically to tell us the area is inoperable. It’s the blood supply source of the bowel. Its a very intricate little bundle of blood vessels.
- The placement of this on her medical history list makes no sense because of timing. She hasn’t had any scans or tests that would show this since before surgery? In surgery, the doc got a really good look all over, and it wasn’t mentioned at all, nor in the pathology report. So…ah.

Comments

( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
franklanguage
Sep. 3rd, 2015 11:45 am (UTC)
This is just horrible; I'm so sorry, both for you and your mother.

Cancer sucks. (And I speak as someone whose roommate has to go through a bi-weekly anti-cancer infusion for the rest of his life.)
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )

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