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ephemeral//edit1

-God came through for me, when I asked for a reason to believe: A sign of existence. But what about the countless stories I hear, where God didn’t come through for them? Were their requests too specific, or somehow inap
-I’ve got the brains to another dimension; Pay close attension//keen senses//psychic, synesthetic sense of smell.
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-"Don’t understand no convictions for nothin’! Just keep your head noddin’”- Res, How I Do.When someone treats me disrespectfully, I think it makes them look dumb as hell. How could they live so long, and not be learned? When someone, (including myself). loses their temper, I can’t help but find humor in it.

-If I allow myself pause to remember; He has always been up front with his approach. He feels no need to express his regards verbally. -Actions speak. II respect the logic of this sentiment, but it’s definitely new to internalize.
It was really a stretch from okay for me to give it up before we said, “I love you”, to each other.-Before either of us can legitimately discern this. It’s expected. It stuns. My opinion is the rarity in this day and age.
Knock me down..

-
-Love hurts so much. It’s like, you have something so beautiful, and to admit how precious it is, causes you to be more vulnerable, and no matter what, you will lose it.-A juncture, which forces you to either soften, or, toughen.
The reason we are mortal; is to keep us from taking love, and life, for granted.


Pro Tough
-endurance
-strength
-solid
-supportive
--
Pro Soft
-understanding
-supplemental
-preserving
-accommodative

I had no idea of the depths my love thrives for Imprint, until he was gone. I had a vivid dream with him recently. Viola was visiting, and she was working on some homework when I came to take her to the movies; so I waited for her in the kitchen, visiting with her dad. When our conversation got too emotional for my mind to want to process- the subject would change to a very obvious metaphor. He showed me his baked potato plant. It didn’t grow like an actual potato.- The potato was the flower at the top of the plant, sliced in half, almost like a two lipped. tulip, with brown outer petals, and ivory insides. It made me want to tell him how I've always felt unworthy of their love, or kinship. They’re too beautiful,-so close to pure; I am corrupt and hopelessly flawed. He cried out, “No!”. The emotion got so heavy, the whole scene suddenly cloaked in black. Projected to he very back row of an empty theater with the power off, darkest, dark as dark has.
He feels exactly like that.
This vacuity s what existence is for him, and as undeserving and foreign I feel to my life right now, I certainly don’t belong in a place like that. I am too colorful to be swallowed up by the abyss.
I tell him how I love sitting in darkness, projecting my imagination all throughout it. -His favorite thing is when someone visits him like this in dream, but it is extremely unpredictable, and there is a wall between he, and those most missed. Difficult to word out, but I completely understand. When my grandpa would visit me in the present, I got so viscerally upset, worrying that he would have to experience death again to get back to the other side.
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(pics to be added)
I spilled a drop of water on these papers, and I almost lost my shit. Really, something as innocuous as a drop of water can destroy my whole book of writing; It also could destroy my whole macbook. I wonder if a drop of water in the exact place, could also destroy the internet. Luckily for us all; This bull is nowhere near that panel. I don’t think. If I am, it’s really better tat I don’t know, because I make most of my mistakes while I’m, “being careful”. If I am confident, and stay in the moment,

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