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Papa

Today was so surreal. We sat in the funeral home from just after I woke up, until the sun went down. I'm not hungry. I'm just not.
I remember this one moment, I walked by my grandpa yesterday (Wow, I just realized I won't be able to say I spoke to, or saw him today or yesterday again, My God.)and I gave him a big hug and kiss with my eyes. Just looked at him and thought to myself, and to him, "My, I love you so much." and he caught it, and returned the look to me. I think that was our final goodbye. He felt terrible, there is no forgetting that. It's nice that he doesn't feel terrible anymore, but it sucks so much that he's gone. It was crazy to see the ambulance leave without him. To learn that the mortuary would come get him. I cant believe we lost him on thanksgiving.

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